Disciplining your child is not always easy. As a parent it is our job to make sure that our children grow up to be respectful individuals. Sometimes it feels as if we are spending more time trying to get that to happen than actually having a fun time with them. In today’s world it can be a difficult task. One of the important things to remember is that it’s not going to be easy and you are not always going to do it right and also that neither you nor your child is perfect. I know we’d like to think that but unfortunately that is not the case.
I would say that we are expected to be at our best when our kids are at their worst. But see, the truth is we as parents have feelings too. We are going to have emotions and we are going question ourselves on our parenting. We also have other parents judging us too! So sometimes the stress level of parenting can be very high.
So what is proper discipline…What is okay and what isn’t? Tho I myself am not a perfect parent or person, I made a list of a few things that I have learned over the years on how to help with disciplining your children.
Be In Charge. I have gone to friends homes where it seems the parent is the child and the child is the parent. Kids running all over the place, acting crazy, screaming and the parents doing nothing at all besides making excuses that they can’t control their child. I’ve had a parent tell me that he will not discipline his child because he doesn’t want to be the bad parent. Not doing that will actually make you the bad parent. Your child needs to know that being bad has repercussions. Not doing so only teaches them that it’s okay to be bad. For every action there should be a consequence. It’s important that you do exactly as you say. If you tell your child that the their movie is going off if they don’t stop jumping on the couch then make sure you do exactly that. Each time you say it and don’t, just makes your kids think that they can get away with things little by little because they were not disciplined ten times before. Make a commitment to yourself about your child’s discipline and be consistent with it. Be the boss.
Figure Out Exactly What Your Child Loves. If you know what your child would hate you to take away the most from them use that as punishment. It could be a toy, or birthday party they need to attend, or even something as simple as staying up later on the weekend.
Don’t Hit. In my house my children have been brought up with me saying “ Hands are for helping not for hurting”. Spanking your kids only teaches them that hitting is okay. If our kids hit other kids what do me do? We punish them. So hit your child because he/she hits someone teaches what? That it’s wrong or that it’s right? We are suppose to protect our kids. If they look up to us to protect them and then we hit them it could very well hurt their self esteem. Also hitting also teaches your kids to lie. If you are hitting your child when they do something wrong they are more apt to lie when you asked them to be honest about what had happened. No child enjoys to be hit. So of course they will be like “ I didn’t do it!” Don’t hit your kids. Pick on someone your own size :p
Learn To Talk. Communication with your child is important. The feeling I have with my children knowing they can come to me for anything is amazing. If they do something wrong talk to them about it. Try not to yell. I’m super guilty of yelling at times but really what did it solve? Everyone just gets more agitated and it just makes matters worse. Sometimes parents also need time outs. If it’s needed, take one and then go talk with your child. The problem will then be easier for the both of you to mend.
Don’t Expect A Perfect Child. Your kids are going to make mistakes. So are you. Don’t set such high expectations for them. They are going to mess up hands down. Explain to your kids how you would like them to be. The wrong and rights. Give them your reasons. Don’t set goals so high that they feel they are not good enough if they mess up or didn’t meet your needs. Explain to them that there are certain rules that apply at certain times and there are consequences.