Before I get into this let me say that it is my belief that EVERYONE becomes somewhat addicted to things that are familiar in their lives. For instance, if every morning you wake up and make a smoothie first thing, and then one morning you found you ran out of smoothie material, you may “mourn” the absence of it. What you did was form a habit. When a habit is removed it upsets our balance.
I believe every one of us goes through some kind of withdrawal after the end of a relationship. After all, the relationship has become a customary way of life for us and it would only be natural to have symptoms of withdrawal just as if you a habit of smoking for years. But for others the relationship, the love itself or perhaps the object of their love has actually became an addiction to them. They are physically, emotionally, and mentally dependent on this relationship in their lives to function normally. The addiction surpasses simple habit. It takes on a life’s desire all on its own.
If you think you are or were addicted to your ex, I’m here to tell you that you are/were probably right. I was, and still am very much addicted to mine.
Every physical, mental and and emotional thought I had experienced with him is still very much alive.
When we fall in love our brain creates the chemical PEA. The chemical is released from the brain and enters the body. So when people say its “chemistry”, thats pretty much about it. It is responsible for the energy we feel when we fall in love giving you that euphoric feeling and excitement when around your person. After 4.5 years I can honestly say that this is the first I have ever been in love and addicted to a human being.
Basically his love made me feel safe, protected from the world, trusted, full of joy, and complete. Its more than comfortability, I fucking loved him. Life without this person just doesn’t seem right and just makes life feel real shitty.
For most people when they lose someone they loved they go thru a period of mourning and then move the fuck on. For the “love addicts” if thats even a thing, it’s more difficult as they have a different grieving process making it very difficult for any future bonding to occur. The thought of the love addict being with someone else other than that person makes them sick to even think about. Its like finding your soul mate and then losing them to a fatal car accident.
How do you even move on from that? Clearly its an everyday struggle. Everyday you miss that person more and more and you think of everything you should have done to save the relationship.
Remember, when things end it isn’t always you. They also played a huge part in the breakup as relationships have two people in them. So what do you do now?
Here is my list of shit that I should have done to save losing my soul mate. If they apply to you, get your shit together before it’s too late.
1. Let go of the past.
I cant tell you enough how much the past has killed my relationship. Lies cheating betrayal all were too familiar and it was hard not to think about. Everything was a reminder. Tho its hard process to let go of, its worth letting go. If you took your partner back or they took you back, whatever the case may be, that means you the let past go with it. There is NOTHING you can do to change it but there is alot you can do for your future. Let shit go. Move on and move forward. Leave the baggage behind.
Don’t hold things in. Tell your partner what’s bothering you right away. If you wait weeks and weeks to say something what good does that to for you or him. Just talk it out. fix it right away. If he doesnt know hes doing something you dont like how can it be fixed?
Have lots of sex. Having a rough day? Have you been arguing all day? De-stress by reconnecting with your partner. Rekindling is an awesome way to get back to being grounded. Yes the issues are still there and still need to be talked about etc but men need this is refocus.
The one thing I learned is that when you disconnect all together it makes it 100 times easier for them to reconnect to someone else. Sexual in nature or even mentally. They need to know you are still there and sex shows you still love them.
I failed miserably in this department.
Support your partner whether or not you agree with what they are doing. Knowing your partner has your back is the best feeling in the world.
5. Be Loyal.
Your loyalty is to your partner. Don’t talk shit about them to anyone. Don’t bring others into your relationship. Respect your partner 100%. Don’t run to others about your problems, run to your partner. That’s what they are there for.
Fix your relationship before it’s too late .
LOVE AS IF SOMEONE IS TRYING TO TAKE IT FROM YOU 24 HOURS A DAY 365 DAYS A YEAR.
“this was only the worst hour of my day”
“I think thats it a big mistake, bc i think that we can make it last”